By J.S. O'Keefe
The roses are browning at the edges. The stems must've been cut too long. They smell like the dark corner of the pantry.
You wash your hands. Soap, rinse, towel. Again: soap, rinse, towel. Something was supposed to happen and didn't. Or you missed a step and everything skidded off that. You replay the last hour to find the exact moment it all came apart.
Your lips count: one, two, three. Counting is easier than deciding. Four, five, six. Your lost cat finds her way home, starved and dazed. Whose neglect?
How many times have you been almost right? The door nearly closed, the cup almost full, the sentence about to mean something before it veers off. Almost right is a cliff edge you've stood on most of your life.
Memory cracks but doesn't break. Paper piles grow. You consider lists, scribble checkmarks, initials on pages. Blank spaces everywhere. You rewrite an entire paragraph then regret it; the original was better. You stop. Did you leave the stove on?
The room has morphed. The frame goes crooked. You straighten it, step back, check again. Almost right is not wrong, only unfinished. Cacophony outside. Inside, the work needs more work. You pause. You think, neglect? You check. It's good. Check again.
Now stopping doesn't feel like failure. The frame stays crooked; you let it. Children come home. Street noise down to clickety clack. Inside, the work's done. The room goes half-asleep. You pause. You check. You tell yourself it's enough.
For a moment, you believe it.
Then you go back on.
About the Author
J.S. O’Keefe is a trilingual translator and writer.
He has published over 500 short stories, creative essays and poems in print and online literary journals.
You can find out more at his website: <https://www.szjohnny.net/>
James Walton was a librarian, a farm labourer, and mostly a public sector union official.
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